In recognition of how weird we freelancers can be… what follows is an open letter to spouses and partners of new and soon-to-be freelancers. You’re in for a fun (and sometimes bumpy!) ride. And though you probably deserve your own support group, hopefully this letter will help life with us freelancers be a little more manageable…
Dear Significant Other,
You have the hardest job of all. Living with a freelance professional who works from home aint easy. We know that, and in the interest of peace and harmony at home, please allow us to make a few special requests…
Let us off the hook for past commitments. I know, we promised to build a deck, refinish the antique dining room table, and shingle the roof, but that was before we launched the business and it’s unlikely we’ll have time to follow through on some or all of these things. Which of these are non-critical at this point in our life? Can we cancel or postpone them for now? Or pay someone else to do them?
Forgive if we forget. If you tell us something, especially when we’re working, we’re likely to forget. Same is true if you tell us something in passing, like, “Annie has ballet this Saturday at two o’clock.” (This forgetfulness is much worse if we are male.)
Let’s start a family calendar (a paper or online version) where all those details are recorded, so we can keep track of things that are important to us both in our business and personal lives.
Help us protect our time. We creative types are not always the most disciplined people in the world, and we tend to get distracted easily. (Oh, you’ve noticed?) Please help us guard our time by resisting the urge to interrupt us when we’re hard at work.
Even if you just pop into our office to tell us something quickly, this can be enough to send us off track for the next half-hour! Before we know it, we’re checking email when we should be back to the task at hand, or we’re following you out into the kitchen to continue to the conversation and make coffee.
Staying focused and disciplined when you work from home is HARD! So unless the house is on fire… let’s talk at dinner.
Be prepared for peaks and valleys in our cash flow. If we freelancers go a few weeks without much work, sooner or later we’ll feel it in the bank account. Try not to worry. If you honestly believe that we’re working hard to make the business work, then have faith that the ups and downs will smooth out.
Also, realize that we’re really at the mercy of whenever our clients get around to paying us. Some will be prompt, others will take their time. It drives us crazy too! But it’s largely out of our control.
Help us relax. We’ve a lot on our minds! We’re constantly thinking about clients, our workload, how to market ourselves, how to get more and better work, and millions of other things about our business.
At the end of the day, or week, it can be hard to let go, wind down, and leave the business behind. But we want to! So let’s actually schedule some relaxing or romantic time together each week. We’ll go out to dinner, we’ll take a long walk, or we’ll just sit together on the couch and watch LOST. (Sans laptop.)
Oh, and, um, if we haven’t said it lately… we love you. And we’re so grateful that you put up with us.
Love,
Us Weird and Wonderful Freelancer Types
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Pete Savage is co-Editor of this cool blog. He wishes this letter was available years ago when he started his freelance business. He is spoiled rotten with support from a loving wife who puts up with his antics while running the house, raising two young kids, and calming the family Weimaraner. Pete writes a free newsletter just for you weird and wonderful freelancer types at http://www.savagemarketing.com/.




{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Very true! I sent a copy to my boyfriend who I hope gets as big a smile out of it as I did.
Thanks, Peter.
Jeannette
Well said, Pete. I’ll add one for you:
Please don’t criticize. We know you mean well and just want to help, but we kick ourselves enough as it is and worry every day about whether we’re doing right by you. If you want, you could pat our back and tell us how much you believe in us. Even if it’s one of those white lies…
haha…too true.
I just set up new boundaries for uninterrupted work hours between 8:00am-Noon and 2:00-6:00pm. Sooooo, my fiance calls for a 5-minute chat at 8:30 and here I am reading your blog when I should be working.
FOCUS!
And the “(sans laptop)” cracked me up too…
P.S. (Pacific Standard Time here – 8:51…so no, I didn’t waste 4 hours)
Absolutely wonderful article! I’m forwarding it to my fiance right now.
Pete:
Can we hire you by the hour to come and coach our significant other when we are in trouble or forget a national holiday like her birthday or something :} or assuming you aren’t available to get us out of trouble do you have any good deck plans
Omgosh, my significant other just popped his head in to my office – at almost midnight – to give me a kiss goodnight and NOT lecture me about staying up late! Instead of admonishing me for working too hard, he was completely SUPPORTIVE.
I’m in shock. The difference? He read a copy of your post today, Pete!
Can I just say … WOO HOO!!!!
Wait, I have to add … he ALSO said that instead of expecting me to remember that the dishwasher installer guy is coming at 2, he’s going to EMAIL me so, AND he’s also going to send me a note reminding me to run the dishes in the old dishwasher in the morning before the installer shows up.
He GETS that I’m not going to remember when he just tells me!! WOO HOO AGAIN!!!
Sheesh. Where was this post three years ago, Pete?! lol THANK YOU!
Um, no.
Alas Michael, my relationship coaching skills begin and end with the article you see here.
But… I’m glad to see this increased the peace (and love) in some of your homes (Jeannette / Good Vibe Coach!)
James – GREAT addition, thank you!
Now that we’ve got our relationships all sorted out… if only we had an article for the rest of our loved ones… to explain what exactly it is we actually DO for a living!!
Thanks all…
Pete
“What do you do for a living?”
*blink* “I’m your husband. I’d think you’d know by now…”
@ Pete – Yes, yes I’d say that explaining what we actually do for a living is our next challenge.
Hi Pete:
Great article! It’s wonderful for those of you who have partners who understand us creative types. Yes, we do tend to let other things go when we’re concentrating on our work (or is it play?). The expression “getting lost in thought” applies to many of us. For me it’s not just an expression, I do it literally.
On forgetting; I’m not absent-minded, I concentrate on things too much. I have a deep mind, so things get buried in there. Plus my brain uses a random order filing system. Just part of being a right-brain creative. The worst time to tell me something, is when you’ve just woke me up. I’ll remember you said something to me but won’t recall what it was.
Thanks,
Dale
Pete!
Thank you so much for this endearing letter. It couldn’t have come at a better time. I will be sharing with my husband today!
I am a brand identity specialist (graphic designer with a focus on building brand identities with purpose and passion!). I work from my home and have toiled with the points that you state in your letter – most every day.
Thank you again. You may save my marriage, my family and my creative profession!
Sharon