Editor’s Note: Today’s guest post is authored by Super-WAHM, Karri Flatla
When my first son was 10 months old I decided I wanted to start a home-based business. So of course, I did what any smart, modern mom does: I jumped on the Internet. Everything seemed possible through the lens of Google. Certainly I could make this work too!
Yet there is a vast psychological divide between researching business opportunities and becoming a living, breathing work-at-home entrepreneur. What looks good in theory (and on your computer screen) can be a recipe for disaster in “real” life. The key to being a successful work-at-home mom (WAHM) is not so much to find the perfect business idea (it doesn’t exist) but to instead manage your own expectations for the journey ahead.
So before you even think about writing that business plan, ask yourself the following questions:
1. How many hours a day can you spend on your business? When I started my marketing business in 2005, I was utterly, gloriously consumed by my new venture. If I wasn’t writing my dissertation of a business plan, I was networking on the forums with my new colleagues and friends. If I wasn’t networking on the forums, I was teaching myself how to build a website. My husband and 10-month-old son came to know the back of my head as “Karri” or “Mom.”
And when those first clients came rolling in? Well, let’s just say that I’ve learned the power of outsourcing and life has been a lot better since.
2. To what extent are you willing to multitask? Being a WAHM brings new meaning to the term. And I’m not just talking about folding underwear while yelling at your kids. I’m talking about 24-hour-a-day-problem-solving-while-you-sleep, psychological multitasking. If you think your brain is full now, consider how much more stuff will fill that pretty little head when you add clients to your to-do list, clients who don’t give a rat’s patootie about Johnny’s ear infection or the leaky dishwasher.
3. How will hubbie feel about a new love in your life? While it should go without saying that your beloved will happily support your endeavor to stretch personally and professionally as a woman, fact is your spouse already has a zillion other things on his mind. Figuring out how to procure some semblance of intimacy with a woman who lives for the glow of her computer screen is enough to get most husbands a little pissy if not downright disenchanted with the relationship.
Don’t deep dive into your new business until you’ve talked about the major lifestyle shift that working at home is going to require.
Speaking of lifestyle changes…
4. Who’s going to do the cooking? And cleaning? And child minding? And…and…and… Once you get this puppy off the ground, your domestic goddess (within?) will be taking an extended vacation. You will cling to the “old way” of doing things for a while to be sure, and your family will cling even harder. However, the day will come when dinner won’t be on the table at 5:30 each night, and the kids’ eyeballs will be glowing from all the TV radiation you’ve quite intentionally exposed them to.
So your once-high domestic standards will quickly subjugate to your even higher business standards. But can your loved ones live with it, and more importantly, what will you do to prepare them for the culture shock?
5. What of those rascally kids anyway? Most work-at-home moms will tell you they chose the WAHM life so they could be with their children more. Reality check: working at home changes how you care for your children; it does NOT guarantee you more quality time them.
Look, I’ve typed more emails to clients with a kid having breakfast at the boob than I care to count. (Can I say “boob” on this blog?) Pre-planned activities, naps and “educational” videos will only go so far to ensure your productivity. At some point you may have to consider alternative child care arrangements, or (gasp) hubby might have to give the kids a bath and read stories a few nights a week.
6. Where does your happiness come from? If you’re happiness hinges on pleasing others, you are not ready to be a work-at-home mom. When you launch your business you’ll naturally expect friends and extended family to unconditionally support you, to be excited for you even. WRONG. Many of them will question you. Some will tell you to “just get a real job.” And even more will just give you blank stares when you try to explain why you love being a WAHM despite the apparent craziness of it all.
There are all kinds of reasons for this including jealousy and the simple fact that practically no one but authors and feminists understand the complex, tangled mess that is modern motherhood in North America.
But I digress. Just know that you may stand alone some days, and you’ll need to be okay with that.
Speaking of being alone…
7. Can you handle social isolation? When you’re burning the midnight oil working on a client deadline, you’ll want to spend any extra time you have with your husband, kids and a locked bathroom. (For God’s sake woman, have a shower!) You’ll have to force yourself to dig some change out of those couch cushions and get out for drinks or coffee at least once or twice before the next full moon.
Transitioning to a work-at-home lifestyle is so much more than spending a few extra hours a day on the computer. Personally, I think the changes are positive and healthy. They push you and your family beyond stale comfort zones, forcing everyone to think of new ways to sustain trust, excitement and intimacy. Some days you’ll want to throw in the (dirty) towel, but most of the time you’ll wonder how you (and your family) survived and thrived before you were a WAHM. A delicious, hungry, passionate WAHM.
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Author Bio: Karri Flatla is a web marketing strategist, copywriter and coach to entrepreneurs seeking clarity and truth in their business. She is also the author of Alpha WAHM: An Empowerment Guide for Work-at-Home Moms (http://alphawahmbook.com). You can read and subscribe to Karri’s business and marketing blog at http://snapwebmarketing.com.
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Karri, I love this post overall, you have some great tips even for us experienced WAHMs! My only discomfort with the classic WAHM stereotype is the idea that we all park our kids in front of the TV for hours after school and then feed them microwaved whatever for dinner, in the name of our more-important careers. Being able to pick my own kid up from school and give her a fun, low-chaos home life was the primary factor in my decision to go freelance. Personally I feel that although my freelance business brings me a tremendous amount of fulfillment, everything in the work world will still be there when my kid doesn’t need me anymore. Another question I would add is “How are you going to deal with family and friends who think that you don’t have a real job because you work from home?” I’ve been freelance for 7+ years and make more money than my husband does at his in-house job, but I still struggle to set boundaries with house guests who want to come visit during the week and get miffed when I hint that I might not be able to take time off!
Is this article a joke? I realize it’s written in a slightly tongue-in-cheek style but that doesn’t excuse the fact that it paints all WAHMs with a pretty broad, not very flattering brush. “Who’s going to do the cooking?” Give me a break.
@Rachel – No, it wasn’t a joke
And in truth women (on average) still handle more domestic duties than their male counterparts. That’s just the way it still IS (not the way I want it to be). I am friends with women from all walks of life and it blows me away how many of them, professional “working” moms included, still take on a ridiculous amount of household chores as compared to their husbands. When mom decides to work from home, well, it raises the grain on this issue, quite painfully for some.
@Corrine – Thanks for the kudos. And OMG I hear you regarding friends and family not understanding boundaries! Just because you’re IN your house doesn’t mean you’re available for every play date and impromptu event that hits the calendar.
Overall, I believe that work and “life” are not two distinct things — or at least they don’t need to be. So yes, work will be there when the kids are grown, but I need to arrive into their futures whole, and “work” is one thing I need for that to happen. (Not true for everyone, but for many women it is.)
Couldn’t agree more, Karri. My wife and I split parenting and household duties pretty evenly. And I like being an active dad and husband. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I realize that this is still not the norm. So I think that any advice on launching a home-based business as a mom needs to take this harsh reality into consideration.
On a more positive note, dads ARE picking up more and more duties at home. The trend is clear, and it’s picked up momentum in the last 5 or 10 years. Great to see this happening!
I completely agree with the first step, being realistic about how much time you have to start a business in the first place. If you’re a mom, and the primary care giver, (as most still are), it’s a challenge. Do you work until 2 am or get up at 5 am? Kids are not so forgiving when you’re constantly on the computer, and if they’re young they need lots of hands-on care.
So true, Temi! Just last night I was burning the midnight oil getting ready for a couple new launches. There is no way around it, yet I’d still rather do it this way than have someone tell me when and where and how to be “productive.”
I have found the time between about 2yrs old and 5yrs old to be super demanding with my boys (i.e. one is 2 and one just turned 6). When they’re infants they keep you up at all hours of the night (one of mine still does mind you). But during the day they tend to be more malleable. By toddler-hood though they’ve got a mind of their own and will DEMAND attention when they’re not getting enough